Turns out it is a Peaceful and Painless way to go

We sit here at home today, on a hot, stormy monday just waiting to find out that they found the body belonging to a good friend of both of my boys.

I am happy to report that drowning is not nearly as bad as everyone thinks.  I found article after article that talked about how you pass out long before the unpleasant parts happen.  It is actually, quite a peaceful way to go.  I found that comforting, and will take the information to my kids...  who am I kidding I am sure they did the same as me and googled it.

He was helping his dad fix their boat and he went under.  His father actually had hold of him, but let go because he couldn't hold on any longer.  I cannot revisit that particular moment because well, who can possibly even fathom losing their child in such a way?

Let me be very clear here.  Every time someone dies, everyone talks about how special they were.  How it isn't fair that "the good die young".  It is almost like you have to say those things about them, once they are gone.  Now, I make no assumptions, maybe they will still find Dan.  However, I want to state it here that he WAS the kid that literally everyone liked.  You could not dislike this boy.  His energy vibrant, his smile always there.  I hate to use the f word, but FUCK it isn't FAIR that he was taken from us.  Fuck is not the F word I meant either.  This kid was a beacon every time I saw him, the empath in me wanted to be near him.  His presence was all at once comforting and comfortable.

We wait, with bated breath, in a very quiet house for news.  The storms are bad, so the search teams keep having to stop the search until the weather clears.  This is the second night he has been missing.  I loved him through my kids.  Both of the boys speak so highly of him.  He was literally a rainbow on a cloudy day.  There isn't a single heart that isn't breaking tonight because even if you didn't speak to him, you only had to be in the same room, to know that he is special.

I sit here, with the rest.  Waiting for news.  I feel a little like an evil person because the kid with the loaded gun at the boy scout meeting is out.  Harassing my child again.  I am a terrible person, but why the fuck would we lose someone like Dan, and the fucker with the gun gets nothing?  He actually has a home and a whole church is helping him pay his bills.  Yeah, that happens; then we lose someone who embodied light.  Who was nice to everyone.  Whom everyone loves.  What THE fuck?  Seriously, this is blowing my mind right now.

These are not questions that haven't been asked before.  There are no answers and I hate those kinds of questions.  I do know this.  I know that when we go, we become part of the light.  Part of everything.  It is a blissful place where you are warmed and loved and forever safe.  I did DMT to get a peek... I am glad that I did, death no longer scares me.

Dan, friend..  sweet sweet boy, you and your family will be in my thoughts for months to come.  May peace and love enter your house and help your family and friends through this horrible time.