Day 2.. Today I have been awake since 9. I didn't want to get out of bed. I am in so much pain that I can barely think. I have no help in my herbal cabinet and this is the reality of the disease. I am down. I am way down and I can't see a way back until I refill my green cupboard..
This is how you fibro patients who read this blog know.. I get down. I get way down. It hurt so bad to get out of bed that I cried before I even had any coffee. Cannabis helps me so much, that life without it for the next week feels unthinkable.
Point here is, I get down too. I am not a one of those people who pretend to be happy all the time because that is a waste of time. Fibro sucks and we hurt and we have to re-shape our lives. Nothing fun about that.
Physically, everything hurts. My skin hurts and burns without cannabis. That is day 2. I am thinking that it will improve if I just hang in there. I hope it does. My neck is tighter than a drum..
So, this is a review of what it is like to have fibro and be on nothing for pain except smoke... until you run out of it and you can't afford any more for the week. Then misery sets in. I can't let this make me cry or get me down. I just can't. I have to stay positive, no matter what it takes.
Picture me on a merry-go-round laughing like a crazy person. You know, that insane laugh that isn't even laughter? Yeah.. that would be me.
Goal for today: Make it, make my hubby be nice to me, demand respect. Love myself, no matter what.
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