Friday, September 19, 2014

Inside the Mind of a Fibromyalgia Flare Up

Inside the Mind of me..  right now

I write this with great speed, because I shall lose my train of thought any second.  Inside my brain, right now..  I reset every 30 seconds or so.  It is like a bad acid trip all the time.

My skin burns, and I wonder at the fact that it doesn't feel hot to the touch.  I wonder if I just stepped in piss or if the tempurature is different because my hands and feet are numb.

My head is screaming at me, my body reaches out in terror.  I feel like I am buried alive with no escape except diversion.  So I find shows and I watch them until all my devices are too hot to touch..  or it could be pee because I can't feel my hands.

Typing is impossible.  Thinking is impossible.  I must rest for the game later.  I know I am not doing my homework and I cannot bring myself to care long enough to push myself through.  I remember that I forgot..  Then I remember that I am forgetting, then it starts back over in my  head.

Shaking hands, quickly now..  before it is too late and I have done a master re-boot.  I wonder if I get tasered..  I wonder if it is that simple

Living your best life.  fighting the darkness..  fight on..  live to fight another day.  Wonder of wonders..  I tried it..  You cannot stop the darkness..  You learn to live the darkness, balance the darkness.  No rest, no sleep..  we fight.

Wait..  hang on..  what was I just saying?

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